When we get into a relationship, we plan to carry it for longer durations. Most of the time, we think of spending our entire life with our partner. While getting into a relationship, we are joyful, positive, enthusiastic, and think about positive vibes only. We don’t consider what would happen if both of us failed to cope with each other. That’s where it is necessary to talk about the stages of dumper regret.
It’s good to be optimistic while getting into a relationship, but you have to consider the negative aspects as well. You have to think, “How will I break up with this relationship if there is a need to do so?” What to do if things don’t as I expected? What if joy fades? How should I deal with my partner if I do not receive the respect and love that I deserve?
Of course, in such harsh situations, you will have to break up with your partner. But doing so is never easy. Parting ways with the person you love is never easy. It breaks your heart and leaves you in tears. But sometimes, you have to take this step.
How long will take for you to get over depends on
- How much love you had for your partner?
- What was the reason for the breakup?
- How long did your relationship last with him/her?
And some other factors.
The dumpers mostly initiate breakups. After breaking up with their partners, they try to portray that they are happy or have no feelings of regret, but deep inside, they get hurt and regret their decision. They express grief through anger and ignorance. They get hurt, knowing that they failed to develop a successful relationship with the people who loved them and become angry.
It’s quite sad to know that the dumpees experience an extreme level of sadness after a breakup. They find it difficult to sleep, experience anxiety, depression and are at a horrific stage. They need consultancy. The situation for the dumper is exactly the opposite.
The dumpers usually become unrecognizable to the dumpees and portray that they have transformed into different people. However, they act in this way only towards the dumpee to show them that they are normal. But when they sit with their friends, they express the pain they are going through. Deep inside, they might be hoping for a reconciliation.
Stages of Dumper Regret
Here we will discuss the stages of dumper regret that will help you understand how you can cope with a breakup emotionally and psychologically.
The first stage of dumper regret is Relief. The dumper experiences relief as he/she feels like a huge weight has been lifted off their shoulders. Dumpers are always finding methods to part ways with you.
Once they succeed in parting ways with you, it’s a sigh of relief for them. They feel their life has eased as the root cause of their unhappiness got eliminated. They believe they have taken the best decision of their life. If you try to get them back, they will feel empowered and will start misusing you. They have lost all respect and love for you.
This breakup has given them freedom, and that’s the only thing they wanted. The dumper feels happy about gaining the freedom he always craved for. That’s how they start enjoying life again. At this stage, they will ignore you, and you can find them partying all night.
Alcohol might their past partner at this stage. These are the best ways to escape unhappy thoughts, rather the best way to escape reality.
There might come a time when they think of reconciliation. There is a possibility that you might receive a text from your ex. But be careful; your ex-partner might be drunk or wants to explore what you are doing.
So, be careful while falling for them again. He is just trying hard to forget you, but it’s not easy for him. He is trying things to keep his mind occupied but is failing to do so. Mostly, it’s not healthy to get back. Move on.
2. Happiness and Excitement
After a sigh of relief comes happiness and excitement. The dumper feels that he/she is happy and can live a beautiful life without his/her partner. He/she starts experimenting with new things, like a new hairstyle, new clothes, and may even start finding new friends to enjoy with.
Another reason for this excitement is that the dumper feels he/she is free from all responsibilities that come up with a relationship. They feel they are free of thinking where the other person is and what he/she is doing.
You ex might seem like a completely different person to you. They will start doing things that might trigger your emotions and leave you in pain. They might start hanging out, wearing new dresses, or trying anything that enhances your pain.
That’s all because they are not happy with themselves and can’t see you happy either. They are trying to delete you from their memory but are failing miserably.
Seeing these habits of them, you might get angry and start hating them even more than before. That’s fine. It’s good to be angry because it will ease the healing process. However, don’t send any angry text to them. Just refrain from doing anything. Don’t fall to their level. Be yourself.
This stage lasts for a month or so. After this stage, the dumpers run out of steam and revert to their normal life. The reason is that the surge of excitement is not strong enough to be carried for long. All they do is pretend to be happy when they are not. They might act like they are contented with their decision, but deep inside, they have feelings of regret.
3. Comparisons and Confusion
Once the stage of excitement passes, the dumpers slow down a bit. He/she gets tired of partying and trying new things. Now they become a bit more serious and frightened. Knowing that you haven’t contacted them up till now makes them sad. Your silence starts bothering them a bit.
They step back because they can’t find meaningful ways to occupy themselves anymore. At this stage, they start thinking about you more and more. On the flip side, now you ignore them, which adds fuel to the fire, and they start experiencing more pain.
Your ex partner might start might send you an indirect message at this stage and might start collecting information about you. He might have plenty of things to keep himself busy, but he wants you.
However, you have to show them that you have changed. Don’t try to get in touch with them, and don’t get curious about where they are or what they are doing. Make them realize that you can live your life without them.
At this stage, the dumper starts experiencing neutrality. Now he starts seeing things in a realistic way. Along with the negatives, he/she opens up his mind and starts looking at the positives as well. With the passing time, the negative thoughts that resulted in the break up start eliminating from his/her mind.
At this stage, the dumpers would eagerly want to approach you and say, “I wish I didn’t end the relationship. I want you back, and I hope you don’t hate me.” They won’t bother apologizing.
If you have found a new partner, you will start comparing him/her with your ex. Such thoughts might trigger your emotions. Now you may realize that your ex-partner was extremely loyal to you and had invested his/her sincere emotions in you.
Finally, a stage comes in the life of a dumper, where he realizes that he/she has committed a blunder by dumping his/her loved one. Especially if he/she is unhappy with his/her new relationship. This is the most challenging part in the stages of a dumper regret.
The dumper suffers anxiety and depression and starts thinking about what efforts he should have put to avoid betraying. He/she stops blaming the dumpee and starts looking at the mistakes that he has made. He/she realizes that he/she wasn’t perfect either and should have admitted his/her faults at that stage.
Having realized his/her mistake, the dumper may send a message to his/her ex to see if they are still available or have feelings for them. At this point, the dumper realizes that he/she has lost someone special. But the sad thing is that the dumpee has now stopped thinking about you. He/she has moved on.
The experience might still be painful for the dumpee, but he/she is not that much anxious as he/she was at the start. He/she has to find ways to move on.
When you build a new relationship, you should consider a lot more things before getting attached to someone emotionally. Your partner may dump you, leaving you alone. The experience might be painful for you at the start, but you will move on with time.
On the other hand, your partner passes through different stages of dumper regret where he/she may feel happy initially, but in the end, he experiences nothing but pain and regret.
So, to avoid pain, focus on sorting out your problems professionally and ethically. Communicate with your partner and sort the matter out. You will enjoy a blessed life.